1 00:00:21,036 --> 00:00:24,306 THE GREAT DIVERSION 2 00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:31,991 Attention, this flim is not a flim about cycling. 3 00:00:32,134 --> 00:00:34,035 Thank you for your understanding 4 00:00:34,841 --> 00:00:38,606 Between Australia and South America, in the South Pacific: 5 00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:42,013 the atoll of Pom Pom Galli. 6 00:00:49,636 --> 00:00:53,652 VD calling Captain George Abitbol, VD calling Captain George Abitbol. 7 00:00:53,986 --> 00:00:56,401 - Someone wants you on the bridge. - Who? 8 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,795 - A man called Jos�. - OK, I'm coming, VD. 9 00:01:01,225 --> 00:01:05,867 Ah, finally, the King of Class! The too well dressed man, Abitbol! 10 00:01:06,488 --> 00:01:09,787 Like that you were elected the Classiest Man in the World. 11 00:01:10,014 --> 00:01:13,552 Pardon my laughter! The great play-boy of the ocean depths. 12 00:01:13,643 --> 00:01:18,058 The kind that makes the housewives dream. But I fuck them, the housewives, right? 13 00:01:18,249 --> 00:01:21,070 - Am I right? - Listen well, my little Jos�. 14 00:01:21,345 --> 00:01:25,475 You fuck the housewives, you must have a golden prick. But that's not real class. 15 00:01:25,636 --> 00:01:29,606 - I tell you that as the Classiest Man in the World. - Stop right there. 16 00:01:29,735 --> 00:01:32,766 Class, is to be chic in the way you dress. 17 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:36,372 There's nothing like going to Azzedine Alaia or even buying 18 00:01:36,515 --> 00:01:39,129 your pullovers from Yoji Yamamoto! 19 00:01:39,247 --> 00:01:42,051 I'm sorry to say this, but you're a bit confused. 20 00:01:42,253 --> 00:01:45,417 You're mixing up coquetry and class. 21 00:01:45,596 --> 00:01:50,090 You're crazy. You spend all your money on fashionable clothes and accessories. 22 00:01:50,172 --> 00:01:51,491 But you're ridiculous. 23 00:01:51,895 --> 00:01:53,511 If it makes you happy... 24 00:01:53,687 --> 00:01:57,225 It's you who wears them. But if you want my opinion, they're a bit... 25 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:58,153 Has-been. 26 00:01:58,272 --> 00:01:59,317 You swine! 27 00:02:00,166 --> 00:02:04,683 Me, a has-been? I've got medals for wearing this. 28 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,459 So you can fuck off! 29 00:02:06,775 --> 00:02:08,645 You're really not very nice. 30 00:02:08,735 --> 00:02:12,034 But the train of your insults runs on the rails of my indifference. 31 00:02:12,249 --> 00:02:14,735 I'd rather leave than hear that, than go deaf. 32 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,891 Right. In that case we're no longer friends, Abitbol! 33 00:02:28,945 --> 00:02:32,841 Look, the English have landed. I'll be obliged to go behind. 34 00:02:33,032 --> 00:02:35,542 By that dark tunnel That stinky funnel 35 00:02:35,724 --> 00:02:39,361 Oh, George! What a poet, you surprise me. 36 00:02:39,504 --> 00:02:41,369 No one's talked to me like that. 37 00:02:41,608 --> 00:02:44,955 I've known many men, but none like you. 38 00:02:45,289 --> 00:02:47,949 - D'you know who you're talking to? - Yes. 39 00:02:48,823 --> 00:02:50,872 Let's get outta here, I've just let one rip. 40 00:02:50,984 --> 00:02:54,098 - Again? Never mind. - Shift, let me pass. 41 00:02:56,965 --> 00:03:01,027 - VD, what the hell is this? - It's raining piddle, piddle, piddle. 42 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:03,874 Thanks for the info. It's a good job you're here. 43 00:03:04,023 --> 00:03:06,330 - But, boss... - D'you want everyone to know 44 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,070 your name isn't VD but Sweet'n'sour Pork. 45 00:03:09,197 --> 00:03:12,439 I'll look for the tablecloth with the fancy design. 46 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,349 That's it... No. 47 00:03:15,535 --> 00:03:17,026 This one. 48 00:03:17,352 --> 00:03:18,433 That'll do. 49 00:03:20,072 --> 00:03:21,991 That's alright We're on our way 50 00:03:22,178 --> 00:03:24,935 That's OK Throw it away 51 00:03:25,566 --> 00:03:27,747 And that's going round 52 00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:29,591 What happens if I pull this down? 53 00:03:35,076 --> 00:03:36,466 George... 54 00:03:37,536 --> 00:03:39,697 Oh God, George... 55 00:03:43,234 --> 00:03:45,284 Shitty world. 56 00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:57,720 And a reminder of today's main headline, the sudden death of George Abitbol 57 00:03:57,944 --> 00:04:01,368 who for over 15 years was officially the Classiest Man in the World. 58 00:04:01,629 --> 00:04:04,573 America has lost one of its most prestigious ambassadors. 59 00:04:04,739 --> 00:04:08,242 And now, a little music from Barry Manilow. 60 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,084 Oh no, not him. 61 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,141 Bitch! 62 00:05:04,830 --> 00:05:07,551 American Class 63 00:05:09,592 --> 00:05:13,654 - Hi Boss, can I come in? - You're in luck, I'm preparing a dossier 64 00:05:13,798 --> 00:05:17,152 on George Abitbol. You're on the spot, but not alone. 65 00:05:17,338 --> 00:05:20,245 - You'll be with Peter and Steven. - Peter and Steven? 66 00:05:20,356 --> 00:05:22,517 They're OK, but why can't I work alone? 67 00:05:22,759 --> 00:05:24,101 Because you're crap. 68 00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:28,525 Of course, why didn't I think of that. I'll work with Peter and Steven. 69 00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:31,545 Well? 70 00:05:32,439 --> 00:05:33,707 OK, I'm going. 71 00:05:35,868 --> 00:05:37,880 That bum, I didn't know he was still around. 72 00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:41,868 You better get used to him, 'cos he'll be working with you on the case. 73 00:05:42,132 --> 00:05:45,412 It's an idea of our friend Callaghan. A bright idea. 74 00:05:45,747 --> 00:05:49,595 Stop your bullshitting, Boss. He's my boy, my lad. 75 00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:52,347 He's attached to me, so I help him. 76 00:05:52,539 --> 00:05:55,409 Perhaps he has no one else. But what are we talking about? 77 00:05:55,558 --> 00:05:59,418 I'll tell you. Where are you with the death of George Abitbol? 78 00:05:59,678 --> 00:06:01,238 Getting anywhere? 79 00:06:02,213 --> 00:06:04,747 We've just started, but have a few ideas. 80 00:06:04,896 --> 00:06:07,393 We'll ask loads of people, those who loved him, 81 00:06:07,494 --> 00:06:10,624 hated him, those close to him. That's a lot of work. 82 00:06:10,893 --> 00:06:12,868 - What else? - That's not all. 83 00:06:13,054 --> 00:06:17,116 - We thought of explaining his final words. - Shitty World? 84 00:06:17,284 --> 00:06:20,042 - You're right. - We shit bricks coming up with that. 85 00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:22,839 The Classiest Man in the World dies and his final words are 86 00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:25,000 "Shitty World". Why did he say that? 87 00:06:25,178 --> 00:06:27,861 - That's what I want to know. - It's not easy. 88 00:06:28,047 --> 00:06:30,880 It must be a name. If a woman, which woman, 89 00:06:31,066 --> 00:06:32,743 if a horse, which race. 90 00:06:32,929 --> 00:06:35,538 We, we thought it could be a sleigh. 91 00:06:37,774 --> 00:06:39,413 Hello. 92 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,004 It's me, Orson Welles 93 00:06:42,153 --> 00:06:45,395 and this is my house you see behind me. Not bad, 94 00:06:45,619 --> 00:06:46,662 It's French. 95 00:06:46,810 --> 00:06:49,942 I'm interrupting this film because I'm a bit pissed off. 96 00:06:50,128 --> 00:06:52,812 It's theft and plagiarism. 97 00:06:52,974 --> 00:06:55,545 I don't like thieves and sons of bitches. 98 00:06:55,955 --> 00:06:57,600 In this film the hero dies at the start 99 00:06:57,712 --> 00:07:00,656 and the journalists investigate his final words. 100 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:04,288 Just like in Citizen Kane. I call that plagiarism. 101 00:07:06,562 --> 00:07:09,431 The journalists will interview people about the hero. 102 00:07:09,618 --> 00:07:12,562 You will see their memories all in flashback. 103 00:07:14,175 --> 00:07:15,293 I see only too well... 104 00:07:16,486 --> 00:07:17,343 Rosebud. 105 00:07:19,430 --> 00:07:20,846 Apart from that? 106 00:07:21,069 --> 00:07:23,902 We're a bit stuck. Kind of lost track. 107 00:07:24,163 --> 00:07:26,958 He spent half his life in Texas. 108 00:07:27,070 --> 00:07:29,418 - Try looking there. - Try looking there. 109 00:07:29,552 --> 00:07:31,564 Don't be so pompous... "Try looking there". 110 00:07:31,673 --> 00:07:33,499 Bravo, what enthusiasm. 111 00:07:33,905 --> 00:07:36,775 Callaghan should be able to help you, 112 00:07:36,886 --> 00:07:40,278 since he's worked here he's been paid to do fuck all. 113 00:07:40,576 --> 00:07:43,147 - The fat pig. - So I'm paid to do fuck all. 114 00:07:43,277 --> 00:07:45,439 But my tips I keep for my lad. 115 00:07:45,811 --> 00:07:49,128 Come on guys, He's my son, the fruit of my loins. 116 00:07:49,613 --> 00:07:51,252 I'd a name and address I gave to him. 117 00:07:51,566 --> 00:07:54,268 - Dumbass. - So you're pissed off, am I wrong? 118 00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:57,166 Bitch. 119 00:07:58,956 --> 00:08:01,043 - Was it you who called me a bitch? - Oh no. 120 00:08:01,229 --> 00:08:03,427 You know it's not very nice. 121 00:08:07,526 --> 00:08:10,599 - I've come to see a Mr. Hughes. - What's that? - Fuck off! 122 00:08:10,694 --> 00:08:13,489 You told me to go fuck off? 123 00:08:15,041 --> 00:08:16,271 What a prick. 124 00:08:16,644 --> 00:08:18,358 Excuse me Sir. Can I help? 125 00:08:18,656 --> 00:08:22,607 You must be Mr. Hughes. I've a letter to show you. 126 00:08:22,942 --> 00:08:25,961 But beforehand, I'd like to ask you a question. 127 00:08:26,110 --> 00:08:28,756 - To whom do I have the honour... - Dave, Callaghan's son. 128 00:08:29,185 --> 00:08:32,650 Let me see, you're investigating George Abitbol, the Classiest 129 00:08:32,855 --> 00:08:35,576 - Man in the World. - You knew him, right? 130 00:08:37,886 --> 00:08:42,284 You know, I knew George from Texas. He was still a cowboy. 131 00:08:42,544 --> 00:08:45,973 At the time, I was too, I lived with Jack, a good friend. 132 00:08:46,471 --> 00:08:48,686 There was nothing sexual between us. 133 00:08:48,817 --> 00:08:52,693 I say that because I was often called Pooftah and Faggot. 134 00:08:52,879 --> 00:08:57,687 It's easy to call two guys gay, just because they live together 135 00:08:57,798 --> 00:08:59,848 on a ranch and wear leather trousers. 136 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,233 One day a horseman arrived going hell-for-leather. 137 00:09:02,382 --> 00:09:06,313 Hey sweetie, I've a French letter for you. Have fun. 138 00:09:17,441 --> 00:09:21,466 - What was in the letter? - Don't know, he gave it to Jack. 139 00:09:21,613 --> 00:09:25,228 - Well, tell me what you do know then. - OK, relax. 140 00:09:25,433 --> 00:09:30,241 I don't know what the letter said, but later we left on horseback for Georgetown. 141 00:09:32,228 --> 00:09:36,402 I'm fed up. Traveling on horseback is really just too much. 142 00:09:36,626 --> 00:09:38,265 What's wrong? 143 00:09:38,638 --> 00:09:41,367 I'm tired of all this moving around. 144 00:09:41,563 --> 00:09:45,793 I'm dreaming of a nice bath in a cosy inn. 145 00:09:46,091 --> 00:09:49,147 You wouldn't believe, the size of my blisters. 146 00:10:01,170 --> 00:10:04,673 - What's with this "Yup" like that? - Just to say "Yup" 147 00:10:05,009 --> 00:10:06,499 That's really something. 148 00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:10,710 Hot and spicy. Specialty of the chef. 149 00:10:10,898 --> 00:10:12,724 Perfect, that smells super good. 150 00:10:12,910 --> 00:10:16,748 Perhaps you'll tell me now why we're here. 151 00:10:17,047 --> 00:10:19,432 You get a mysterious letter and we dash right over. 152 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,351 I'd love to know what's inside. 153 00:10:21,519 --> 00:10:24,164 It's a long letter from my friend Dino 154 00:10:24,351 --> 00:10:26,662 who wants my help, as he couldn't get Ed, 155 00:10:26,867 --> 00:10:28,358 for George who's in trouble. 156 00:10:28,749 --> 00:10:31,507 What do I care if he's in trouble or not. 157 00:10:31,709 --> 00:10:33,572 Anyway I could never stand him. 158 00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,771 Thanks for the compliment. 159 00:10:36,358 --> 00:10:40,719 It's always a pleasure to get one, especially from a couple of fags. 160 00:10:40,864 --> 00:10:42,746 Know what you're eating? 161 00:10:42,895 --> 00:10:46,063 That steak is really arsehole rissole. Taste nice? 162 00:10:46,678 --> 00:10:48,764 It's very nice, thank you. 163 00:10:48,914 --> 00:10:50,777 And the sauce is dried snot. 164 00:10:51,047 --> 00:10:52,649 What a mind you've got. 165 00:10:52,798 --> 00:10:55,966 - You'll make them sick. - Mind your own business. 166 00:10:56,150 --> 00:11:00,137 You know Madame Felipe cuts up pieces of tit to make her ravioli. 167 00:11:00,286 --> 00:11:03,864 - Totally disgusting, shit. - Wait, he's the Classiest Man. 168 00:11:04,106 --> 00:11:06,752 - No doubt he going to apologize. - You know... 169 00:11:06,976 --> 00:11:09,435 Stick your apologies up your ass, with the steak, 170 00:11:09,584 --> 00:11:13,125 except the chef has done that already, and then spat on it. 171 00:11:13,311 --> 00:11:16,069 Oh no, the chef doesn't spit on the food. 172 00:11:16,292 --> 00:11:19,833 Even in the best restaurants, they spit on the food. And in this dump, 173 00:11:20,131 --> 00:11:24,109 I don't see why they wouldn't poop on it too. Bon appetit. 174 00:11:25,096 --> 00:11:28,488 I knew a pedo once, with ten times more class. 175 00:11:33,849 --> 00:11:35,154 One more thing... 176 00:11:35,787 --> 00:11:38,992 I'd avoid the chocolate mousse if I were you. 177 00:11:41,154 --> 00:11:42,913 And what happened next? 178 00:11:43,434 --> 00:11:45,447 Take a deep breath. 179 00:11:45,820 --> 00:11:49,919 After, I only know I had an accident. I was wounded. 180 00:11:50,123 --> 00:11:53,217 I lost my memory and woke up remembering nothing. 181 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,384 You've something else to tell me, about George? 182 00:11:56,627 --> 00:11:58,751 I won't eat ravioli. 183 00:11:58,956 --> 00:12:02,161 However I will speak of Madame Felipe. 184 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:06,646 She's got fantastic tits, and I know what I'm talking about. 185 00:12:07,236 --> 00:12:10,739 - And George? - Once I was with the bilingual Indians. 186 00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:14,056 - Salut Hughes. - Hello. 187 00:12:17,633 --> 00:12:19,310 Nice to see you, to see you, nice. 188 00:12:19,385 --> 00:12:21,509 Hi guys, great to be here. 189 00:12:21,621 --> 00:12:24,826 As I was passing, I thought to stop a while, until you want me 190 00:12:25,944 --> 00:12:27,249 to go. 191 00:12:27,658 --> 00:12:31,049 You can stay. No problem. 192 00:12:31,534 --> 00:12:34,360 I'm even happy for you to be here. 193 00:12:34,584 --> 00:12:39,056 I'd love you to stay. We can eat some chips. 194 00:12:39,615 --> 00:12:41,311 D'you hear? Chips. 195 00:12:41,516 --> 00:12:44,925 Is that all you do when I say: Eat some chips? 196 00:12:45,335 --> 00:12:47,162 What's wrong with you? 197 00:12:47,609 --> 00:12:50,217 What's wrong? Cat got your tongue? 198 00:12:50,366 --> 00:12:53,609 - Do you remember George, politically? - George? 199 00:12:53,963 --> 00:12:56,609 What have I to do with George? Nothing! 200 00:12:57,112 --> 00:13:00,578 Because remember this, I'm a true Democrat... 201 00:13:00,764 --> 00:13:04,304 And George is a shitty fascist, a shitty fascist. 202 00:13:04,901 --> 00:13:06,429 Exactly. 203 00:13:08,814 --> 00:13:11,124 My time has come. 204 00:13:11,441 --> 00:13:14,199 And what happened with this Indian chief? 205 00:13:14,683 --> 00:13:18,763 Afterwards he made Death Wish, but now he's stopped showing off. 206 00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:22,602 One day he was found murdered. His wish came true. 207 00:13:23,268 --> 00:13:26,548 Give me the number of your friend Jack, since he was there too. 208 00:13:26,711 --> 00:13:29,320 I'll give it to my friends, they'll question him. 209 00:13:31,871 --> 00:13:35,002 Peter write this down. The number of a certain Jack. 210 00:13:35,207 --> 00:13:36,884 You can question him. 211 00:13:37,238 --> 00:13:43,242 19, 94, 0, 18, 13, 24, 32, 212 00:13:43,503 --> 00:13:49,745 49, 26, 24, 40, 70933, 213 00:13:50,323 --> 00:13:52,596 16 minus 4 214 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:55,372 - 16 minus 4, that's 12. - Right, thanks. 215 00:13:56,956 --> 00:13:57,925 Thanks, call you later. 216 00:14:06,264 --> 00:14:09,133 Hello, this is Steven, I'm not here. 217 00:14:09,357 --> 00:14:11,668 You can leave a message after the tone. 218 00:14:11,966 --> 00:14:16,577 - Thanks, goodbye. - Dave's just given me Jack's number. 219 00:14:18,813 --> 00:14:21,496 That's Jack's number, it was on file. 220 00:14:21,664 --> 00:14:24,757 Dave's number's a pile of shit. 221 00:14:25,005 --> 00:14:26,360 Dave's pissing me off. 222 00:14:26,546 --> 00:14:29,267 I'm pissed off with crappy special effects. 223 00:14:29,528 --> 00:14:33,966 - That's a bit harsh. Are you an expert? - Alright, you know the effect 224 00:14:36,407 --> 00:14:38,718 Wow, I'm impressed. 225 00:14:46,648 --> 00:14:48,921 - Hello, Mr. Jack? - Absolutely. 226 00:14:49,331 --> 00:14:53,914 I'm investigating George Abitbol and I'd like to hear your story. 227 00:14:56,262 --> 00:15:00,362 Listen, I've nothing against you, but I've not got 228 00:15:00,958 --> 00:15:02,449 very much time. 229 00:15:02,747 --> 00:15:05,095 But for George Abitbol I'll make an effort. 230 00:15:05,281 --> 00:15:07,741 Just don't take me for a push-over. 231 00:15:08,151 --> 00:15:10,312 Thanks, very nice of you. Wait! 232 00:15:10,517 --> 00:15:13,536 I said nice, not homosexual. I said nice because 233 00:15:13,685 --> 00:15:17,747 Hughes said you left for Georgetown having received a French letter. 234 00:15:18,045 --> 00:15:20,803 - What was in it exactly? - Absolutely. 235 00:15:20,952 --> 00:15:24,269 I think you're referring to the missive we received 236 00:15:24,530 --> 00:15:26,989 one day, Hughes and I. It seemed urgent 237 00:15:27,064 --> 00:15:29,523 from the haste of the Pony Express. 238 00:15:29,747 --> 00:15:32,617 The sender had written on the back of the envelope 239 00:15:32,803 --> 00:15:35,561 "Full speed postman, friendship won't wait" 240 00:15:35,808 --> 00:15:39,609 The letter was from my friend Dino, asking for help. 241 00:15:40,057 --> 00:15:44,082 To put it bluntly we set of on a bumpety ride. 242 00:15:44,528 --> 00:15:46,802 - I'm fed up. - Not again. 243 00:15:46,951 --> 00:15:51,143 - What now, don't you ever stop moaning. - I'm starving. 244 00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:54,385 Listen well, my friend. A few more miles 245 00:15:54,535 --> 00:15:57,628 and we'll be at a cosy inn. 246 00:16:00,405 --> 00:16:01,811 What a killjoy. 247 00:16:08,659 --> 00:16:12,051 Excuse me, we've already heard all this from Hughes. 248 00:16:12,274 --> 00:16:17,007 Perhaps you can tell us what happens after your meal at that cosy inn. 249 00:16:18,329 --> 00:16:19,969 Absolutely. 250 00:16:20,298 --> 00:16:24,286 After dinner, I set to work and went to see my friend Dino. 251 00:16:29,610 --> 00:16:32,386 Dino, my poor friend. 252 00:16:32,796 --> 00:16:34,958 You don't look too good. 253 00:16:37,604 --> 00:16:40,734 How is it you've sunk so low? 254 00:16:40,939 --> 00:16:44,032 You who can write such lovely letters. 255 00:16:44,405 --> 00:16:46,082 That's all gone. 256 00:16:46,268 --> 00:16:49,436 I no longer want to eat nor drink. 257 00:16:50,479 --> 00:16:54,802 I haven't combed my hair. It's my 19th nervous breakdown. 258 00:16:55,845 --> 00:16:58,715 Shit, I don't even want to wash. 259 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:03,140 Don't tell me this is because of George? - George? 260 00:17:03,299 --> 00:17:05,721 You can't know. 261 00:17:05,982 --> 00:17:07,826 It's unbearable. 262 00:17:08,144 --> 00:17:12,131 But that's no reason not to wash your face, are you ill or what? 263 00:17:12,243 --> 00:17:16,043 I keep sticking myself with my pins. It's just not funny. 264 00:17:16,454 --> 00:17:20,069 You can tell me. You look just awful. 265 00:17:20,479 --> 00:17:22,491 Can't you stop being so clumsy? 266 00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,858 Do you mind if I look at your pin? 267 00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:28,842 Shera... Sheraf. You can't spell. 268 00:17:29,419 --> 00:17:34,886 Me too, I spell bad. Because if you spell too well, they call you a faggot. 269 00:17:35,426 --> 00:17:37,495 So I wouldn't worry that you can't spell sheriff. 270 00:17:37,662 --> 00:17:40,401 - One for all, all for one! - Sheriff. 271 00:17:40,606 --> 00:17:42,954 You too can't spell Sheriff? 272 00:17:43,215 --> 00:17:45,162 But I still feel like a bum. 273 00:17:45,313 --> 00:17:49,259 That's no reason to let yourself go and commit self harm. 274 00:17:49,628 --> 00:17:51,864 Look at my hands. Shit! 275 00:17:52,235 --> 00:17:55,738 Look, these fucked up hands that can't spell and stab me with my pins. 276 00:17:55,887 --> 00:17:59,206 We'll I'm going, thanks for the pins. Everything will be fine. 277 00:17:59,501 --> 00:18:03,571 - As we say back home: L'chaim. - L'chaim. 278 00:18:08,096 --> 00:18:10,108 Evening! 279 00:18:10,369 --> 00:18:11,152 Faggot! 280 00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:18,586 Well, I never. 281 00:18:20,782 --> 00:18:24,201 It's getting a bit much this "faggot" business, everybody's at it. 282 00:18:24,261 --> 00:18:27,108 - Even though we aren't. - I know. 283 00:18:29,665 --> 00:18:32,980 Don't worry, I'll go see him tomorrow, George. 284 00:18:35,367 --> 00:18:38,348 - Well then, nighty night. - Sweet dreams. 285 00:18:46,436 --> 00:18:48,044 George, I must have a word. 286 00:18:48,225 --> 00:18:51,691 Just because I'm so nice, people take me for an idiot. 287 00:18:51,933 --> 00:18:55,101 Now you must hear my side of things. We must talk. 288 00:18:55,622 --> 00:18:59,088 - You don't look too good. Let me help you. - Piss off, Jack. 289 00:18:59,424 --> 00:19:01,716 - So you don't want to talk? - Exactly. 290 00:19:01,865 --> 00:19:04,250 This town ain't big enough for the both of us. 291 00:19:04,436 --> 00:19:06,635 You've got till nine o'clock to scram. 292 00:19:06,784 --> 00:19:10,697 But George, come on now, d'you take me for a jerk? 293 00:19:10,901 --> 00:19:14,628 Yes, completely. Now piss off. 294 00:19:15,308 --> 00:19:19,556 George, you disappoint me. I expected more openness on your part. 295 00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:21,606 I'll help you in spite of that. 296 00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:28,309 Staying in town despite George's threats? That's mighty brave for a fag like you. 297 00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:33,414 Enough, it's just a rumour. I was never gay and even less a pooftah. 298 00:19:33,694 --> 00:19:35,408 All those complexes. 299 00:19:42,204 --> 00:19:46,117 - Go on, tell him you're a faggot. - Why don't you come out of the closet. 300 00:19:46,266 --> 00:19:48,688 And even if I was gay, what difference would that make? 301 00:19:48,857 --> 00:19:50,876 You'd look hot in a thong. 302 00:19:56,580 --> 00:19:59,710 - Get ready. - Yes, it's time. 303 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:01,834 Cigarette? 304 00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:13,493 Alright I'll tell you everything. 305 00:20:15,729 --> 00:20:17,667 It's nine o'clock. 306 00:20:35,936 --> 00:20:37,352 Is it nine yet? 307 00:20:38,582 --> 00:20:40,483 Do I sound like the talking clock? 308 00:20:43,897 --> 00:20:46,804 Other than that, you have class! 309 00:20:47,661 --> 00:20:49,125 I'll show you class. 310 00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:59,042 Man's folly and indiscretion lead to disaster. 311 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:03,067 - Hey, boss, I've found some dynamite. - That gives me an idea. 312 00:21:03,551 --> 00:21:06,346 Hey, you tosser, it's not me who's gay. 313 00:21:06,458 --> 00:21:08,396 There's another and he's called George. 314 00:21:09,129 --> 00:21:10,836 Blah, blah, blah. 315 00:21:11,750 --> 00:21:12,495 Bastard. 316 00:21:12,662 --> 00:21:14,637 And you, filthy parasite, piss off. 317 00:21:14,879 --> 00:21:17,040 - He'll pay for that. - Yeah. 318 00:21:23,131 --> 00:21:25,702 It's a shame you found him losing it like that. 319 00:21:25,926 --> 00:21:29,242 - D'you want to hear the end of the story? - Yes please. 320 00:21:29,483 --> 00:21:33,210 I assume you called the police. You had every right of course. 321 00:21:33,322 --> 00:21:36,079 - Not at all, we settled it man to man. - Right. 322 00:21:36,191 --> 00:21:37,905 Absolutely. 323 00:21:38,092 --> 00:21:42,452 You see, Hughes was seriously injured. George came to apologize immediately. 324 00:21:42,638 --> 00:21:45,694 - George apologized immediately? - Absolutely. 325 00:21:45,918 --> 00:21:47,297 - What class. - Absolutely. 326 00:21:49,123 --> 00:21:50,241 Hughes... 327 00:21:51,657 --> 00:21:54,676 I knew you were injured. I came to apologize. 328 00:21:55,011 --> 00:21:58,477 You should have thought of that before, instead of blubbing in my room. 329 00:21:59,857 --> 00:22:02,279 Yes, you're right, it's pathetic. 330 00:22:02,652 --> 00:22:04,292 That's just like me. 331 00:22:04,587 --> 00:22:07,642 But I still hoped to make you... happy. 332 00:22:08,313 --> 00:22:11,220 My greatest pleasure would be some peace, you moron. 333 00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:18,120 Of course, I'm on edge. 334 00:22:20,258 --> 00:22:23,947 To round thing off, George had only to apologize. 335 00:22:24,114 --> 00:22:26,649 - Say, you're awfully nice. - Don't say that. 336 00:22:26,705 --> 00:22:31,232 I'm not nice. When I get angry I go completely crazy. You wouldn't know me. 337 00:22:31,586 --> 00:22:33,934 - Sorry. One last question. - Absolutely. 338 00:22:34,288 --> 00:22:37,218 - What would you think if I said: Shitty World? 339 00:22:37,404 --> 00:22:38,448 Goodbye. 340 00:22:38,783 --> 00:22:40,749 Why did you choose this work. 341 00:22:40,870 --> 00:22:43,274 To be a journalist? Obviously to be famous. 342 00:22:43,479 --> 00:22:46,758 I want to be famous. Know why? To fuck chicks. 343 00:22:47,094 --> 00:22:51,072 When you're famous you fuck plenty of chicks. And eat better food too. 344 00:22:53,010 --> 00:22:57,333 As for the chicks, I'm right with you. But with food, you've lost me. 345 00:22:57,705 --> 00:23:00,500 What is it you want to eat exactly? 346 00:23:01,730 --> 00:23:04,674 - I don't know. A quiche lorraine. - A kitsch. 347 00:23:04,786 --> 00:23:08,140 - What? - One says a "kitsch lorraine" - Are you sure? 348 00:23:08,681 --> 00:23:11,128 That's weird, "kitsch lorraine". 349 00:23:16,992 --> 00:23:21,166 - Where now? - To Dino, who wrote the letter to Jack. 350 00:23:21,390 --> 00:23:24,073 - Watch out. - Those asshole pedestrians. - Yeah. 351 00:23:24,371 --> 00:23:27,781 - What did you say there? - Nothing, leave it be. 352 00:23:28,005 --> 00:23:29,756 The mystery deepens. 353 00:23:30,725 --> 00:23:33,036 Allow me to welcome you. 354 00:23:33,278 --> 00:23:36,558 Don't just stand there. Take the weight off your feet. 355 00:23:37,303 --> 00:23:40,620 - Thank you, very kind. - That's a lesson in etiquette. 356 00:23:41,242 --> 00:23:44,671 Of course, but how can I help? 357 00:23:44,988 --> 00:23:49,534 - We're journalists and we'd like to know where you knew... - George Abitbol. 358 00:23:49,683 --> 00:23:51,733 Yes, George Abitbol. 359 00:23:51,901 --> 00:23:55,590 Where I knew George? An excellent question. 360 00:23:56,149 --> 00:23:59,000 - At the farm. - The farm? What farm? 361 00:23:59,112 --> 00:24:01,422 The funny farm where you belong, asshole, cretin! 362 00:24:01,609 --> 00:24:04,404 What d'you want? To do our heads in, poor sod? 363 00:24:04,665 --> 00:24:08,093 Of course I know the farm. We were cowboys there. What's wrong with that? 364 00:24:08,202 --> 00:24:10,031 Ah, yes. Very nice. 365 00:24:10,140 --> 00:24:14,690 Balling me out in front of journos we don't even know. 366 00:24:14,873 --> 00:24:16,214 It's class, bravo. 367 00:24:16,441 --> 00:24:19,124 Fine, you're not pissed off? I must have been dreaming. 368 00:24:19,348 --> 00:24:23,522 You sent a letter to Jack. What was in that letter. 369 00:24:24,074 --> 00:24:27,129 That letter, it's very simple. 370 00:24:27,316 --> 00:24:30,782 I had a problem with George. I wrote to my old friend Jack. 371 00:24:31,122 --> 00:24:34,098 But if you like, I'll start at the beginning. 372 00:24:34,285 --> 00:24:36,819 I arrived in Italy at Turin. 373 00:24:37,005 --> 00:24:39,316 Back then I supported Juventus. 374 00:24:46,839 --> 00:24:50,491 OK, I'm coming, stop shooting at I. 375 00:24:51,274 --> 00:24:54,218 M'yeah. Over here. 376 00:24:55,821 --> 00:24:58,821 What's with the hands? Did I tell you to raise them? 377 00:24:58,952 --> 00:25:02,268 - Lower your hands, it's me who'll raise them. - But it's my turn. 378 00:25:02,473 --> 00:25:05,231 It's my turn, I'll decide. 379 00:25:05,417 --> 00:25:09,703 Don't do what I do. Lower your hands. Grab your rod, and stop copying me. 380 00:25:09,964 --> 00:25:11,753 My rod, with pleasure. 381 00:25:13,020 --> 00:25:16,374 I'm not giving you my rod. Sorry. 382 00:25:18,697 --> 00:25:20,784 I'm leaving with my horse. 383 00:25:21,082 --> 00:25:24,287 No problem, I'll get it ready for you. 384 00:25:25,815 --> 00:25:28,797 I've changed my mind. You take the horse and then scram. 385 00:25:29,057 --> 00:25:30,269 OK. 386 00:25:32,877 --> 00:25:36,455 Shit, I've buggered that up. But I'm not giving in. 387 00:25:37,237 --> 00:25:38,560 Time passed. 388 00:25:38,821 --> 00:25:41,448 I thought I'd never see him again, but one year later, 389 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,722 our paths crossed once more. 390 00:25:43,908 --> 00:25:47,896 I frequented a bar that the landlord, a certain Bazooma, had named 391 00:25:48,082 --> 00:25:49,014 Orlando's 392 00:25:49,349 --> 00:25:52,964 I know you from somewhere. I'm sure I know you. 393 00:25:53,094 --> 00:25:55,032 Sorry, but it's me who knows you. 394 00:25:55,293 --> 00:25:58,163 I saw you first, you saw me second. 395 00:25:58,647 --> 00:26:01,629 - I saw you second, alright. - Lost. 396 00:26:01,834 --> 00:26:04,442 I also saw you second. 397 00:26:04,737 --> 00:26:08,975 - Wow, you're something. - I'm better than that, I'm super-duper. 398 00:26:12,268 --> 00:26:14,542 He does my head in. 399 00:26:15,210 --> 00:26:17,409 It's many times we've met. 400 00:26:17,670 --> 00:26:19,807 Always in the way. What d'you want? 401 00:26:19,956 --> 00:26:22,229 Perhaps you're in my way. 402 00:26:22,453 --> 00:26:26,329 - Not bad the pin on your tie. - That's class. 403 00:26:26,534 --> 00:26:28,956 By the way... where are you from? 404 00:26:29,664 --> 00:26:32,869 - Me, I'm Jewish. - Jewish, you? 405 00:26:33,130 --> 00:26:37,565 Oh, I'm Jewish and if you want to know, I'm even an Arab Jew. 406 00:26:37,788 --> 00:26:40,174 Arab Jew? 407 00:26:40,770 --> 00:26:43,006 I prefer the Sephardim. 408 00:26:44,012 --> 00:26:47,068 An Arab Jew, a bit weird. 409 00:26:48,070 --> 00:26:50,902 - I don't like weirdoes. - Oh shit. 410 00:26:51,205 --> 00:26:54,372 I can't stand Nazis, but let it be. 411 00:26:54,670 --> 00:26:56,236 Spit it out. 412 00:26:56,627 --> 00:26:58,341 Completely exact? 413 00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:01,556 I think you're an oaf. A sick oaf. 414 00:27:02,888 --> 00:27:04,863 Then there's the racism. 415 00:27:05,124 --> 00:27:08,254 It's your personal opinion. That I'm racist. 416 00:27:08,664 --> 00:27:10,602 If you want my advice, 417 00:27:10,788 --> 00:27:12,875 If there's a racist here, you's it. 418 00:27:13,117 --> 00:27:15,800 There's no point discussing it with you, as you're always right. 419 00:27:15,912 --> 00:27:18,334 Let's discuss it. It's you that's always right. 420 00:27:19,005 --> 00:27:22,396 What's this I hear, Frankie? You scoundrel! 421 00:27:22,657 --> 00:27:25,713 It seems you've got intolerable views, 422 00:27:25,822 --> 00:27:27,350 where there's no tolerance. 423 00:27:27,611 --> 00:27:30,145 Don't you know it's not right to be a racist. 424 00:27:30,274 --> 00:27:31,057 It's wrong. 425 00:27:31,253 --> 00:27:33,926 You mustn't racially discriminate. It's wrong. 426 00:27:34,970 --> 00:27:37,840 Judging one by their religion or the colour of their skin 427 00:27:37,951 --> 00:27:40,336 By their social origins, or nationality. It's wrong! 428 00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:44,324 OK, since I see that we can't talk things over... 429 00:27:44,697 --> 00:27:46,113 Let's have a duel. 430 00:27:55,527 --> 00:27:56,906 Fucking spotty face! 431 00:27:58,546 --> 00:27:59,885 I love a nice duel. 432 00:28:02,136 --> 00:28:03,441 And now piss off. 433 00:28:04,298 --> 00:28:06,348 And next time... 434 00:28:06,757 --> 00:28:09,068 I'll shoot you with real bullets. 435 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,037 That'll heat up your ass, French bastard. 436 00:28:13,693 --> 00:28:16,214 I'm not French, I'm American. 437 00:28:16,363 --> 00:28:18,114 You're French. I'm American. 438 00:28:19,530 --> 00:28:21,953 And that's why I called my old friend Jack 439 00:28:22,102 --> 00:28:25,679 I don't like to say it, but he's a really decent guy. 440 00:28:25,866 --> 00:28:29,332 I ask myself if he's not a bit of a jerk. 441 00:28:30,834 --> 00:28:33,443 - Tell us about the contents of that letter. - Yes please. 442 00:28:33,592 --> 00:28:35,493 Unless it's private and you've principals. 443 00:28:35,642 --> 00:28:38,176 It's private and I've principals. 444 00:28:39,182 --> 00:28:42,722 But since you're so nice, I'll tell you the contents. 445 00:28:42,872 --> 00:28:46,561 - Thanks, that's real sweet. - Not at all, for nice guys like you. 446 00:28:46,916 --> 00:28:49,935 One night. I was down, I was blue. 447 00:28:50,345 --> 00:28:53,699 My dear Jack I write because I need you. 448 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:56,009 It's George who needs help. 449 00:28:56,270 --> 00:28:58,096 He can't bear it in Texas. 450 00:28:58,208 --> 00:29:01,599 No air conditioning, no phone, no TV, no central heating. 451 00:29:01,711 --> 00:29:04,916 In brief, he can't stand life without his creature comforts. 452 00:29:05,064 --> 00:29:07,001 It makes him tetchy. Yesterday... 453 00:29:07,486 --> 00:29:10,654 Hello George, I'd really like a word. 454 00:29:12,610 --> 00:29:14,921 If you want to talk send me a... Fax! 455 00:29:15,629 --> 00:29:19,206 A fax out in the sticks he must be as thick as two bricks. 456 00:29:19,644 --> 00:29:21,433 And it went on like this. 457 00:29:21,619 --> 00:29:26,613 With George we spent whole afternoons in our room 458 00:29:26,799 --> 00:29:29,520 gently squabbling over our memories. 459 00:29:29,892 --> 00:29:33,582 - Shall I go over the old times? - Old times, yes. 460 00:29:33,917 --> 00:29:38,613 - Oh no, you're sick of my voice. - I'm not, not at all. 461 00:29:38,762 --> 00:29:43,532 Then I'll tell you the story of some weirdo who showed up one night in my hotel room. 462 00:29:43,755 --> 00:29:45,739 A fucking nutcase. 463 00:29:46,447 --> 00:29:49,531 Evening. What d'you want in my room? 464 00:29:51,057 --> 00:29:52,883 Is there anything you want? 465 00:29:53,070 --> 00:29:54,598 Love me tender... 466 00:29:55,231 --> 00:29:57,728 - Love me true. - What's all this bullshit? 467 00:29:57,952 --> 00:30:01,306 Love me tender Love me true 468 00:30:01,865 --> 00:30:04,138 In two seconds I'll kick your ass. 469 00:30:04,217 --> 00:30:05,969 You can do what you want 470 00:30:06,211 --> 00:30:09,230 But don't step on my blue suede shoes 471 00:30:11,325 --> 00:30:14,083 - What's that. - Don't be cruel 472 00:30:15,350 --> 00:30:17,102 One for the money 473 00:30:19,263 --> 00:30:21,015 Two for the show 474 00:30:21,164 --> 00:30:22,617 Four to go 475 00:30:22,878 --> 00:30:24,518 The good old days. 476 00:30:24,704 --> 00:30:27,574 If he was looking for trouble 477 00:30:27,728 --> 00:30:29,889 He came to the right place. 478 00:30:30,224 --> 00:30:33,951 Unfortunately today it's over. George isn't the same man. 479 00:30:34,219 --> 00:30:36,828 That's why you must come, dear Jack. 480 00:30:38,522 --> 00:30:43,032 Now I think you know the kind of problem I have with George 481 00:30:43,292 --> 00:30:45,528 and why I wrote that letter. 482 00:30:47,168 --> 00:30:49,181 What are we doing in this flim, Bob? 483 00:30:49,330 --> 00:30:52,386 I'll tell, but suck me off first. 484 00:30:53,019 --> 00:30:55,777 I was only joking, don't worry. 485 00:30:55,963 --> 00:30:57,528 There's nothing happening. 486 00:30:57,715 --> 00:31:00,510 Must be a mistake in the series of flashbacks. 487 00:31:00,737 --> 00:31:02,861 It shouldn't last too long. 488 00:31:04,165 --> 00:31:06,476 It looks like a real cock-up. 489 00:31:07,408 --> 00:31:10,240 Hang on, right turn. One, two, three. 490 00:31:11,563 --> 00:31:13,687 Restabilization. 491 00:31:16,445 --> 00:31:18,047 Now we'll dive. 492 00:31:22,379 --> 00:31:24,019 Immersion of the astronef. 493 00:31:25,994 --> 00:31:29,460 My guts are bad. Must be the hamburger. 494 00:31:29,888 --> 00:31:32,721 I can't digest it. You were right. Should have had the kitsch lorraine. 495 00:31:32,963 --> 00:31:34,752 I'm sure you say "quiche". 496 00:31:35,292 --> 00:31:39,060 Never mind that, I've got the runs, the squits, the shits. 497 00:31:39,186 --> 00:31:41,389 - Excuse me. - Excuse me. Assplosion ahoy. 498 00:31:41,538 --> 00:31:44,481 It's coming, green apple splatters. 499 00:31:46,270 --> 00:31:49,438 Put down my Isometric Exercises mag right now. 500 00:31:49,550 --> 00:31:50,314 Thanks. 501 00:31:50,463 --> 00:31:53,742 Secondly what are you doing in my office. 502 00:31:55,084 --> 00:31:58,550 Nothing. Except I've information that merits one. 503 00:31:58,848 --> 00:32:02,763 The death of George wasn't an accident. He was killed. 504 00:32:04,030 --> 00:32:08,055 - May I ask how you know that? - I was tipped off by Deep Throat. 505 00:32:08,689 --> 00:32:12,490 Shit, Deep Throat? That's incredible, that. 506 00:32:12,937 --> 00:32:15,508 Anyway, I've made some progress with things. 507 00:32:16,515 --> 00:32:19,347 - May I ask what that means. - Nothing. 508 00:32:19,459 --> 00:32:21,807 Except that you and your mate Peter are out of your depths. 509 00:32:21,974 --> 00:32:23,651 You lousy bum. 510 00:32:23,950 --> 00:32:26,894 You think you're the best journalist in the world. Amazing. 511 00:32:27,341 --> 00:32:29,242 Best journalist in the world. Amazing. 512 00:32:29,763 --> 00:32:33,639 Stop it. Because whilst you're talking Peter has the mega-shits. 513 00:32:33,974 --> 00:32:35,428 Some dignity please. 514 00:32:35,950 --> 00:32:38,931 And now I'll tell you something about Deep Throat. 515 00:32:39,229 --> 00:32:41,242 He's my informer. Keep your hands off. 516 00:32:42,248 --> 00:32:43,440 Excuse me. 517 00:32:43,925 --> 00:32:46,571 Peter has just stunk out the bog. 518 00:32:53,390 --> 00:32:54,993 Steven... 519 00:32:57,042 --> 00:32:59,800 You won't believe me. My guts are just fine. I'm cured. 520 00:32:59,912 --> 00:33:02,558 However, don't go in the shitter. It's just everywhere. 521 00:33:02,688 --> 00:33:04,214 Shit. Come on. 522 00:33:12,437 --> 00:33:15,960 Boss, boss. We've got a problem. We have to talk to you, quick. 523 00:33:16,033 --> 00:33:17,450 The George Abitbol case. 524 00:33:17,599 --> 00:33:19,928 No, the bog. Peter's just clogged it all up. 525 00:33:20,245 --> 00:33:23,186 It's not my fault, boss. I was ill. 526 00:33:23,926 --> 00:33:26,534 Must be the burgers. 527 00:33:29,628 --> 00:33:30,783 Hello Peter, it's Steven. 528 00:33:30,932 --> 00:33:33,876 Listen carefully. You must interview a certain Jos�. 529 00:33:34,100 --> 00:33:36,037 Take this down. 530 00:33:36,364 --> 00:33:38,488 Interview... Jos�. 531 00:33:38,757 --> 00:33:40,733 However he can't stand journalists. 532 00:33:40,919 --> 00:33:44,795 - Did you get that down. - I did. 533 00:33:45,126 --> 00:33:48,219 If he knows you're a journo he won't see you. 534 00:33:48,406 --> 00:33:51,312 If... he... knows... journo... 535 00:33:51,573 --> 00:33:53,623 What you must do is disguise yourself. 536 00:33:53,809 --> 00:33:56,175 I... must... disguise. 537 00:33:56,306 --> 00:33:58,821 - Understand. - Sure, but my phone's not working. 538 00:33:58,933 --> 00:34:02,324 - What disguise? - Don't know yet. - Find something good. eh? 539 00:34:02,641 --> 00:34:05,622 - I believe in you. - Don't worry. I'll find something good. 540 00:34:20,009 --> 00:34:22,357 Restaurant Mexican Food. 541 00:34:22,543 --> 00:34:24,295 Can't be true. 542 00:34:26,084 --> 00:34:27,873 - Buenas noches. - You speak Spanish? 543 00:34:28,357 --> 00:34:29,624 Un poquito. 544 00:34:29,829 --> 00:34:31,357 Think you can impress me? I can say 545 00:34:31,506 --> 00:34:34,581 "Go to the beach Mr. Fox" "Vamos a la playa Senor Zorro". 546 00:34:34,860 --> 00:34:37,170 Would you like to scoff a chilli con carne? 547 00:34:37,692 --> 00:34:39,369 No thanks... I... 548 00:34:39,667 --> 00:34:43,170 I'm a bit bloated. I'm not... not feeling too good. 549 00:34:44,406 --> 00:34:47,573 I'm really sorry. No offence? 550 00:34:47,927 --> 00:34:51,170 But the next time, I'd really like... 551 00:34:51,468 --> 00:34:54,337 A nice chilli con carne, usually, yum yum. 552 00:34:56,934 --> 00:34:59,189 Right now I'm on a diet. 553 00:34:59,412 --> 00:35:03,065 Based on... Based on kitsch lorraine. 554 00:35:06,027 --> 00:35:08,598 - Excuse me, based on...? - kitsch lorraine. 555 00:35:08,729 --> 00:35:12,866 - It's a little pie. - What do you take me for? 556 00:35:13,052 --> 00:35:15,399 The cheese shop I've got sells three things. 557 00:35:15,511 --> 00:35:17,859 Cheese, kitsch lorraine and Chinese. 558 00:35:18,026 --> 00:35:20,542 Don't make me laugh with your crappy diet. 559 00:35:22,231 --> 00:35:25,771 You're looking at the specialist of kitsch lorraine. 560 00:35:27,448 --> 00:35:30,336 The specialist of sweet and sour pork. 561 00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:34,920 At 23 I won the prize for the best Asian chef for my preparation of 562 00:35:35,255 --> 00:35:37,939 - A mechoui. - A mechoui? 563 00:35:38,349 --> 00:35:40,994 - You're pulling my plonker. - Pull your plonker Peter? 564 00:35:41,181 --> 00:35:43,566 OK, lets talk of George Abitbol. 565 00:35:43,770 --> 00:35:46,640 George Abitbol is far from being a nobody. 566 00:35:46,789 --> 00:35:50,255 He would never have boasted like me about his success in the kitschen. 567 00:35:50,404 --> 00:35:51,596 He had class. 568 00:35:51,764 --> 00:35:54,336 I'd rather have his class than my own. 569 00:35:54,522 --> 00:35:57,242 - I don't think I'm being unjust. - You loved him well? 570 00:35:57,354 --> 00:35:58,100 Yes. 571 00:35:58,864 --> 00:36:00,429 Now leave me be. 572 00:36:01,696 --> 00:36:04,789 Hey, bouffant, if you fancy a sausage... 573 00:36:13,963 --> 00:36:15,901 It's great fun to dress up. 574 00:36:17,317 --> 00:36:19,255 - Myeah. - No, really. 575 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:22,829 Abitbol 576 00:36:23,463 --> 00:36:25,699 George Abitbol 577 00:36:27,693 --> 00:36:29,851 Class, man Top of the Pops 578 00:36:31,196 --> 00:36:33,395 Has disappeared 579 00:36:33,804 --> 00:36:35,780 Hairy ass 580 00:36:36,277 --> 00:36:39,967 Of the Port of Valparaiso 581 00:36:40,265 --> 00:36:42,352 Ah, it's fine 582 00:36:43,209 --> 00:36:46,787 But all that leads us away from George 583 00:36:58,221 --> 00:37:01,464 Anguish, false anguish 584 00:37:01,687 --> 00:37:04,072 I've no bench marks 585 00:37:04,221 --> 00:37:05,265 Just right now 586 00:37:06,793 --> 00:37:10,594 Steven, shut up. I could never stand Michel Legrand. 587 00:37:16,833 --> 00:37:19,926 I hate the way you drive. It doesn't inspire confidence. 588 00:37:22,051 --> 00:37:23,988 Shut up, you're spoiling my concentration. 589 00:37:26,970 --> 00:37:29,932 When I'm famous I'll bang the chicks 590 00:37:30,976 --> 00:37:33,920 Their knickers falling 591 00:37:37,725 --> 00:37:41,041 Steven, stop. You're unbearable. 592 00:37:50,397 --> 00:37:52,297 You know, about Steven. 593 00:37:52,819 --> 00:37:55,688 He's into it more than me with my disguise. 594 00:37:55,837 --> 00:37:58,781 He crossed the whole country for an interview. 595 00:37:59,079 --> 00:38:01,725 But he really gets inside the skin of someone. 596 00:38:02,694 --> 00:38:06,392 And it's really brave crossing America, from coast to coast... 597 00:38:07,055 --> 00:38:07,651 On foot. 598 00:38:08,284 --> 00:38:10,446 That's total journalism. 599 00:38:11,248 --> 00:38:12,999 And he went by Alaska, the sod. 600 00:38:13,260 --> 00:38:16,763 Climbing on foot, up there. Fucking idiot. 601 00:38:17,656 --> 00:38:19,725 Me for example... 602 00:38:20,024 --> 00:38:23,601 At first I thought it was stupid to dress up. but now I really like it. 603 00:38:23,750 --> 00:38:26,657 Except for me, no one recognises me. It's like that. 604 00:38:26,881 --> 00:38:29,378 A right little chameleon, Dave. 605 00:38:30,219 --> 00:38:32,977 Don't you think I've got more muscular later? 606 00:38:33,275 --> 00:38:35,772 Want to see my disguise? 607 00:38:37,263 --> 00:38:39,685 I'd know better if you were wearing it. 608 00:38:40,070 --> 00:38:42,455 Have you heard speak of Artemus Gordon? 609 00:38:42,961 --> 00:38:45,942 I think you can do a bit better than just a shirt. 610 00:38:46,203 --> 00:38:49,073 It's hard to believe. 611 00:38:49,408 --> 00:38:51,793 I've found an outfit, super fine. 612 00:38:53,470 --> 00:38:55,110 A shirt of which I'm really proud. 613 00:38:55,371 --> 00:38:58,091 And that is how he looks real slick, our Dave. 614 00:38:58,351 --> 00:39:01,072 Excuse me, but I'm thinking of Steven. 615 00:39:01,351 --> 00:39:03,810 It must be great for him on foot. 616 00:39:04,183 --> 00:39:06,792 He must have some wonderful times. 617 00:39:07,463 --> 00:39:11,897 Dear Peter, here I am, even if my disguise isn't quite ready. 618 00:39:12,046 --> 00:39:14,730 The cap and the boots really don't fit. 619 00:39:14,982 --> 00:39:19,119 I sense grow in me the flame which inspired the great reporters of the century. 620 00:39:19,380 --> 00:39:23,404 I think of John Pilger, Bob Woodward and now me. 621 00:39:23,881 --> 00:39:25,185 Enter. 622 00:39:28,490 --> 00:39:32,061 Good day, I'm a journalist investigating the death of George Abitbol. 623 00:39:32,247 --> 00:39:35,210 I know you lived in Texas, I'd like to hear your story. 624 00:39:35,415 --> 00:39:36,719 Stop right there. 625 00:39:36,980 --> 00:39:40,111 You've the wrong person. I've never set foot in Texas. 626 00:39:40,297 --> 00:39:42,570 Don't give me that crap. I know you were there. 627 00:39:42,868 --> 00:39:46,446 OK, alright. But I must warn you, I don't remember very much. 628 00:39:46,651 --> 00:39:49,222 That's to say I remember, but it's all very confused. 629 00:39:49,390 --> 00:39:52,446 Faces that haunt me from time to time. 630 00:39:52,558 --> 00:39:54,347 I often remember smells. 631 00:39:54,608 --> 00:39:57,104 Sensations, rather than precise things. 632 00:39:57,328 --> 00:40:00,309 However I didn't stay for long in Texas. 633 00:40:00,542 --> 00:40:02,778 In fact, I don't see how what I tell you, 634 00:40:02,927 --> 00:40:07,063 just two or three vague things, could interest you as a journalist. 635 00:40:08,815 --> 00:40:10,641 So one, I don't remember. 636 00:40:10,865 --> 00:40:13,827 Two, I didn't stay long. And finally five. There is no five. 637 00:40:14,051 --> 00:40:17,070 Since you don't want to help, go fuck yourself. 638 00:40:17,703 --> 00:40:18,840 Dear Peter. 639 00:40:19,035 --> 00:40:22,352 Here I am in Alaska, despite the cold, my hopeless mule, 640 00:40:22,538 --> 00:40:26,190 my false beard which itches, I continue to believe in my adventure. 641 00:40:26,414 --> 00:40:28,091 However, I've a couple of doubts. 642 00:40:28,389 --> 00:40:31,035 You see, Dave, not bad there, your disguise. 643 00:40:31,669 --> 00:40:34,762 Only with your French head, I'm not really sure. 644 00:40:35,395 --> 00:40:39,714 There's lots of work to do before you're as good as Steven. He's the best. 645 00:40:40,571 --> 00:40:43,925 I'll metamorphose my French head. Just see, you won't believe. 646 00:40:44,186 --> 00:40:47,000 Me too, I'll go to Texas, collect a couple of witnesses. 647 00:40:47,186 --> 00:40:49,012 But me, I'll take the plane. 648 00:40:49,273 --> 00:40:52,143 Dear Peter, I've lost much time with this blizzard. 649 00:40:52,366 --> 00:40:55,030 I think I've caught cold. 650 00:41:02,924 --> 00:41:05,737 Right, the bumpkins who'll talk to me about George. 651 00:41:05,886 --> 00:41:07,824 Who's here who'll speak to Dave. 652 00:41:08,197 --> 00:41:12,147 Won't speak, huh? You're a wooden cross. I guess you'll stay mum. 653 00:41:13,936 --> 00:41:17,364 Ah, finally someone who can tell me something. 654 00:41:21,315 --> 00:41:24,221 OK, so you won't talk, huh? 655 00:41:24,408 --> 00:41:26,830 You want me to let my guns talk? 656 00:41:45,948 --> 00:41:47,811 D'you take me for a jerk. 657 00:41:47,997 --> 00:41:50,140 You look too young to have known those days. 658 00:41:50,438 --> 00:41:51,481 I know bullocks. 659 00:41:51,705 --> 00:41:53,717 It smells of bullshit to me. 660 00:41:53,978 --> 00:41:55,431 Bullshit. 661 00:41:56,057 --> 00:41:59,150 Dear Peter, I'm in the desert, I've a new friend, 662 00:41:59,262 --> 00:42:01,870 he follows me everywhere, though he's a bit young. 663 00:42:02,168 --> 00:42:04,013 He told me he was 18. 664 00:42:04,751 --> 00:42:06,129 I'm all alone. 665 00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:08,655 Listen, they told me you were engaged to George. 666 00:42:09,065 --> 00:42:11,542 That's what he told everyone. 667 00:42:12,158 --> 00:42:14,207 And then it happened. 668 00:42:14,598 --> 00:42:18,586 You're telling me that he lied? You're calling him a liar? - Ah, yes! 669 00:42:18,772 --> 00:42:21,828 An outstanding liar. And many more faults than that. 670 00:42:22,119 --> 00:42:24,353 You know, he was in love with me. 671 00:42:24,579 --> 00:42:27,411 You don't know how he was always coming on. 672 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,553 And today... 673 00:42:29,739 --> 00:42:31,715 I have regrets. 674 00:42:32,070 --> 00:42:34,343 In retrospect I think I might have done otherwise. 675 00:42:34,418 --> 00:42:36,393 But it was impossible. 676 00:42:36,654 --> 00:42:40,418 There was no woman who wanted him at that time. 677 00:42:40,697 --> 00:42:44,722 He was too awkward, too clumsy. Always after my bush. 678 00:42:44,890 --> 00:42:46,492 Good day Madame. 679 00:42:49,199 --> 00:42:52,105 Madame. I'd like to say: I love you. 680 00:42:52,254 --> 00:42:55,999 You think I don't know? You won't stop repeating it. 681 00:42:56,764 --> 00:43:00,224 - You must know I don't love you George. - Yes, I know. 682 00:43:00,634 --> 00:43:01,789 What do you want? 683 00:43:02,050 --> 00:43:04,360 I love your breasts. Your tits. 684 00:43:04,509 --> 00:43:06,522 You're not far wrong. 685 00:43:06,932 --> 00:43:08,982 Don't you find me attractive? 686 00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:11,969 It's not that George. 687 00:43:13,311 --> 00:43:15,845 It's not that you're not attractive. 688 00:43:16,332 --> 00:43:18,773 It's that with women, you lack tact. Big time. 689 00:43:18,959 --> 00:43:21,437 Look, your glasses, they're icky. 690 00:43:22,897 --> 00:43:24,915 So? I'm not your maid. 691 00:43:25,345 --> 00:43:28,524 Nevertheless, wouldn't you like, just once... 692 00:43:28,664 --> 00:43:30,005 George! 693 00:43:34,326 --> 00:43:37,941 I said not to talk whilst you're drinking. It's bad for the stomach. 694 00:43:41,221 --> 00:43:43,010 Excuse me, Madame. 695 00:43:49,955 --> 00:43:54,353 He was as classy as a buttered ass. How on earth did he get that title. 696 00:43:54,613 --> 00:43:58,052 However I'd hate for his killer to escape. 697 00:43:58,816 --> 00:44:01,835 You know, that's odd. You've no glass in your windows. 698 00:44:03,214 --> 00:44:06,307 My dear Peter, I've finally reached my goal. 699 00:44:06,493 --> 00:44:09,102 What emotions before this so desired shack. 700 00:44:09,227 --> 00:44:11,705 Emotions, but pride too. 701 00:44:11,836 --> 00:44:15,283 It won't be long, now I can see I'll take my place as a star of journalism. 702 00:44:15,451 --> 00:44:16,718 I'm here! 703 00:44:19,720 --> 00:44:21,546 Come in shit-stirrer. 704 00:44:21,826 --> 00:44:24,621 You come here, wanting some morsel on George for your rag. 705 00:44:25,270 --> 00:44:27,506 It's all the same, your gossip, your rumours. 706 00:44:27,804 --> 00:44:30,860 It's my profession, to testify. but not to slag people off. 707 00:44:32,090 --> 00:44:33,696 But I'm a bit surprised. 708 00:44:33,804 --> 00:44:37,273 When you called me, you told me that you'd known George well, 709 00:44:37,489 --> 00:44:39,874 and you had some real information. 710 00:44:40,470 --> 00:44:43,638 Not real information to sell to a paper. 711 00:44:43,936 --> 00:44:47,439 The truth never interests anyone. Take George for example. 712 00:44:47,637 --> 00:44:50,917 The truth, whilst he took it easy on his horse 713 00:44:51,215 --> 00:44:54,271 I was miles away on my boat, busy fishing. 714 00:44:54,420 --> 00:44:56,805 But you must know how to make it exciting, the truth. 715 00:44:57,037 --> 00:44:57,986 Me and my fishing, 716 00:44:58,135 --> 00:44:59,403 him on his horse. 717 00:44:59,683 --> 00:45:01,191 Me and my fishing, 718 00:45:01,266 --> 00:45:02,980 him on his horse. 719 00:45:04,043 --> 00:45:06,130 Ah, yes. It was good like that. 720 00:45:21,671 --> 00:45:23,348 Right, an end to disguises. 721 00:45:23,572 --> 00:45:26,628 It's a load of shit. Total journalism, a load of bollocks. 722 00:45:26,777 --> 00:45:28,044 Come on! 723 00:45:36,552 --> 00:45:40,055 Boss, boss. We have to talk to you, quick! 724 00:45:40,278 --> 00:45:43,409 Is it the bog again? No it's the Abitbol case. 725 00:45:44,124 --> 00:45:47,478 We've finished with our disguises. They really piss us off. 726 00:45:48,148 --> 00:45:49,527 As you wish. 727 00:46:01,190 --> 00:46:04,768 Ah, the lovely Dave's here. And he's wearing his old shirt. 728 00:46:05,066 --> 00:46:08,159 D'you want to be my woman, and after drink a coffee? 729 00:46:08,337 --> 00:46:10,069 You never know. 730 00:46:13,666 --> 00:46:17,679 On second thoughts, it only has a one in a hundred chance of working. 731 00:46:17,754 --> 00:46:19,132 A divorce? 732 00:46:20,807 --> 00:46:22,931 I don't suppose there'll be alimony, cheapskate! 733 00:46:23,043 --> 00:46:26,769 - Sir, can you talk with a Canadian accent? - Well, of course. 734 00:46:27,515 --> 00:46:31,503 I've something to ask. Tell me, George Abitbol... 735 00:46:31,838 --> 00:46:34,508 - Can you speak of him? - Mister Dave... 736 00:46:34,732 --> 00:46:36,036 You know my name? 737 00:46:37,117 --> 00:46:40,099 I saw the start of the flim. 738 00:46:41,179 --> 00:46:44,198 Can you talk like this, whilst pulling a face? 739 00:46:44,916 --> 00:46:47,487 It seems easy, but it's harder than you think. 740 00:46:47,748 --> 00:46:49,984 Let's get back to George Abitbol, dickhead. 741 00:46:50,170 --> 00:46:53,338 You think only of work. 742 00:46:54,121 --> 00:46:57,195 I bet you're not even capable of talking like this. 743 00:46:57,493 --> 00:47:00,549 - M'yeah, that's right. - You've got to, for your own good. 744 00:47:00,624 --> 00:47:01,928 I get on fine without. 745 00:47:14,967 --> 00:47:16,551 Hiya, alright? 746 00:47:16,793 --> 00:47:19,514 I've got something to propose. Really good. 747 00:47:19,775 --> 00:47:21,079 Super duper. 748 00:47:21,283 --> 00:47:26,613 It's completely irresponsible, and paid for by the CIA with a helicopter. 749 00:47:26,945 --> 00:47:30,806 - A helicopter? - A Super helicopter that we shall call 750 00:47:31,026 --> 00:47:32,312 Supercopter. 751 00:47:33,648 --> 00:47:34,319 Yeah. 752 00:47:40,543 --> 00:47:41,511 Sold. 753 00:47:49,169 --> 00:47:50,324 Oh shit! 754 00:47:51,144 --> 00:47:54,386 - Look, over there. - What, the tomato juice? 755 00:47:54,591 --> 00:47:55,635 No, the actor. 756 00:48:02,976 --> 00:48:05,435 Excuse me, can you tell us about George Abitbol. 757 00:48:11,615 --> 00:48:14,298 See if you can find a means of telling your story 758 00:48:14,453 --> 00:48:17,173 - even without opening your mouth. - You can mime. 759 00:48:17,341 --> 00:48:21,707 You're a great actor who knows how to do it. right? 760 00:48:24,092 --> 00:48:25,695 OK. I'll mime it. 761 00:48:25,938 --> 00:48:28,118 I was picking mushrooms... 762 00:48:28,547 --> 00:48:32,758 - Oh, shit, it's the wrong season. There's none here. - Hey, Sir! 763 00:48:34,304 --> 00:48:36,087 Yes, what? 764 00:48:38,174 --> 00:48:39,441 Well? What do you want? 765 00:48:39,963 --> 00:48:43,243 I'll ask you a question. Get it right and I'll let you pass. 766 00:48:43,541 --> 00:48:45,479 - Hurry up then. Ask. - Stop, who am I? 767 00:48:45,572 --> 00:48:48,628 I talk very fast and my pants are held up with wire. 768 00:48:48,794 --> 00:48:53,080 I shit in the woods every evening at 6:30, I eat nothing but mushrooms. I am, I am? 769 00:48:53,231 --> 00:48:54,907 You are a pain in the arse. 770 00:48:55,018 --> 00:48:57,068 That's right, I'm a pain in the arse. 771 00:48:57,813 --> 00:48:59,975 Crikey, I got it right. 772 00:49:00,273 --> 00:49:02,882 Hey, want to come back to my house? 773 00:49:04,518 --> 00:49:09,661 It was after this episode that I met, very furtively, George Abitbol. 774 00:49:11,151 --> 00:49:16,145 Darling we were separated, but now it's fine, we're together again. 775 00:49:17,338 --> 00:49:21,176 You see that man there. He's very well known. 776 00:49:21,623 --> 00:49:24,530 Before that, he was completely unknown. 777 00:49:24,772 --> 00:49:27,940 Crazy, isn't it? What are you thinking? 778 00:49:28,201 --> 00:49:30,922 I think he's a big man. 779 00:49:31,555 --> 00:49:33,866 Yes, but before he was only small. 780 00:49:36,717 --> 00:49:39,512 It's rehearsal time for our musical saw. 781 00:49:40,220 --> 00:49:43,089 Sorry, Maestro, I was greeting my philosophical friends. 782 00:49:57,661 --> 00:50:01,275 Thanks for that. But, it escapes me. What was the name of your greatest film? 783 00:50:02,431 --> 00:50:06,269 - Mime it. - Try to mime the name of your greatest film. 784 00:50:10,399 --> 00:50:12,038 Damn, he's tough, that actor. 785 00:50:12,262 --> 00:50:14,423 Tell me, where'd you buy that jacket? 786 00:50:14,572 --> 00:50:17,777 Along with my pants, from some guy in the Vosges. 787 00:50:18,038 --> 00:50:20,200 Oh yeah, very in vogue. 788 00:50:25,262 --> 00:50:27,758 - So, about George... - If you would... 789 00:50:29,100 --> 00:50:32,491 What I can say is that I've never met George. 790 00:50:32,790 --> 00:50:35,883 I know he's the Classiest Man in the World, but that's all. 791 00:50:36,069 --> 00:50:39,423 Me... I'm a guy who's done a lot for ecology. 792 00:50:39,586 --> 00:50:41,226 I assure you, it's true. 793 00:50:41,487 --> 00:50:46,350 There's nothing I like more than long rides in the wide open spaces. 794 00:50:47,468 --> 00:50:51,828 The ecstasy of the senses. An intimate communication with nature, 795 00:50:52,089 --> 00:50:53,953 Osmosis. 796 00:51:10,266 --> 00:51:12,241 Tell me, regarding George... 797 00:51:12,371 --> 00:51:15,911 Would anyone want to see him dead? D'you know an enemy, 798 00:51:16,414 --> 00:51:19,135 - Or even a rival? - Yes. 799 00:51:19,619 --> 00:51:23,563 I heard talk of a guy, called Joel. He had a one armed friend. 800 00:51:23,973 --> 00:51:26,656 - Abitbol! - I may be armless... 801 00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:28,668 - But I'm not 'armless! - Naturally. 802 00:51:28,817 --> 00:51:31,463 In intellectual prowess we'll see how you do. 803 00:51:31,817 --> 00:51:35,209 - With pleasure. - Very good. 804 00:51:36,412 --> 00:51:42,002 It's a riddle. What has three arms, one hat, two shirts and a jacket. 805 00:51:42,374 --> 00:51:44,275 One neckerchief, 806 00:51:44,499 --> 00:51:46,436 A pistol and four ears? 807 00:51:47,182 --> 00:51:49,194 But it's you and your... 808 00:51:51,244 --> 00:51:52,809 No problem. 809 00:51:52,996 --> 00:51:55,604 A cowboy at Chernobyl. 810 00:51:56,223 --> 00:51:58,944 - Well done. He knew it. - Ladies and gentlemen... 811 00:51:59,167 --> 00:52:01,776 That is intellectual prowess. 812 00:52:02,186 --> 00:52:04,124 One up to me, kiddies. 813 00:52:10,489 --> 00:52:12,488 It smells like rain. 814 00:52:14,030 --> 00:52:16,527 We'll go inside and have a little shag. 815 00:52:16,657 --> 00:52:19,117 Right now I feel real dirty. 816 00:52:25,481 --> 00:52:27,717 I hope that gets you somewhere. 817 00:52:27,903 --> 00:52:30,549 Everything's allowed to catch the killer. 818 00:52:39,299 --> 00:52:41,274 Listen here, boys. 819 00:52:41,572 --> 00:52:46,566 Abitbol is none of your business. And my boss doesn't care for nosey parkers. 820 00:52:46,939 --> 00:52:48,988 Now I'll tell you one thing! 821 00:52:50,106 --> 00:52:52,380 There are some things, it's better not to dig up. 822 00:52:55,678 --> 00:52:57,019 What was that? 823 00:52:57,206 --> 00:52:58,873 I was wondering if you've seen 824 00:52:59,097 --> 00:53:01,780 my expanded polystyrene string vest. It should be here. 825 00:53:01,995 --> 00:53:05,050 - Ask the switchboard. - Thanks. That's really helpful. 826 00:53:13,739 --> 00:53:15,752 Switchboard? Has anything come for me? 827 00:53:16,050 --> 00:53:20,000 You're really bugging me. Wait, a call for you. 828 00:53:20,261 --> 00:53:21,640 Hello, Professor Hammond. 829 00:53:22,460 --> 00:53:26,746 Regarding George Abitbol. I'd like to ask a couple of questions about your father. 830 00:53:26,883 --> 00:53:28,337 Is that alright? 831 00:53:29,455 --> 00:53:35,007 Fine, Actually I've a slight problem with my clothing. I think my tailor hates me. 832 00:53:35,194 --> 00:53:37,802 But it shouldn't take long to sort out. I'm not worried. 833 00:53:38,007 --> 00:53:42,105 Could you come round to my place this afternoon? About five? 834 00:53:44,267 --> 00:53:47,397 Hang on, that's a lot to remember. Your place at five. 835 00:53:47,546 --> 00:53:50,528 - I'll try to remember. - I hope so. 836 00:53:55,820 --> 00:53:57,646 Oh yay! 837 00:53:58,540 --> 00:54:00,198 I love it! 838 00:54:00,925 --> 00:54:03,012 You get here, not even your house. 839 00:54:03,459 --> 00:54:06,440 45 minutes late. No hello, no sorry. 840 00:54:06,601 --> 00:54:09,172 Go straight to the fridge, and take the very last beer. 841 00:54:10,029 --> 00:54:12,787 - You've got no fucking shame. - Thanks. 842 00:54:13,216 --> 00:54:15,172 Stop it, you're embarrassing me. 843 00:54:15,470 --> 00:54:19,458 But really I'd like for you to talk about your father. 844 00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:21,470 Joel Hammond. Is that possible? 845 00:54:21,626 --> 00:54:23,400 Sure, it's possible. 846 00:54:23,594 --> 00:54:26,131 I'll tell you an amazing story. 847 00:54:26,223 --> 00:54:30,771 Once I went to join my father, Joel, in a quarry, where he was with the workers. 848 00:54:33,099 --> 00:54:34,926 Long live the October Revolution! 849 00:54:35,075 --> 00:54:38,429 It seems they've spotted some political dinosaurs round here. 850 00:54:38,764 --> 00:54:40,814 How can you believe in that bullshit? 851 00:54:41,224 --> 00:54:45,323 Just before arriving at the workplace, I stopped to give my horse a drink. 852 00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:52,094 Look! 853 00:54:53,771 --> 00:54:55,932 Don't go, Joel. Stay here. 854 00:54:56,119 --> 00:54:58,467 I'm going. I've got to go! 855 00:55:38,534 --> 00:55:39,987 Oh yeah! 856 00:55:42,438 --> 00:55:45,102 Oh well, we've done it. 857 00:55:45,326 --> 00:55:48,307 I detest those prehistoric right wing dinosaurs. 858 00:55:48,568 --> 00:55:52,611 Fascism is nothing but a shitty capitalist reaction. 859 00:55:52,816 --> 00:55:53,841 Revolutions are always verbose. 860 00:55:54,027 --> 00:55:55,555 Go fuck yourself, 861 00:55:55,723 --> 00:55:56,953 Trotskyite! 862 00:55:57,214 --> 00:55:59,226 That's it. And my father... 863 00:55:59,617 --> 00:56:02,599 You're going to ask me where he was whilst we were fighting? 864 00:56:06,623 --> 00:56:08,450 Tell me, your father... 865 00:56:08,748 --> 00:56:10,797 Where was he when you were fighting? 866 00:56:12,623 --> 00:56:17,300 Joel? But he was the same every time there was trouble. Joel! 867 00:56:18,688 --> 00:56:20,775 Today he's dead, God bless his soul. 868 00:56:20,924 --> 00:56:24,986 I don't wish to speak ill, but, whilst we were fighting the dinosaurs, 869 00:56:26,961 --> 00:56:30,278 he, as usual, went off alone into the mountains. 870 00:56:30,501 --> 00:56:33,557 No one knew what he got up to there. 871 00:56:47,956 --> 00:56:49,670 What a stink! 872 00:56:55,860 --> 00:56:59,997 - Excuse me, can I talk to you, Madame. - Call me Christelle. 873 00:57:00,230 --> 00:57:03,100 My husband's not here. D'you want to see my thighs? 874 00:57:03,249 --> 00:57:04,441 Or like a French kiss? 875 00:57:04,926 --> 00:57:07,870 Thank you Madame, with pleasure. But first, a few questions. 876 00:57:08,168 --> 00:57:11,857 As you wish, but afterwards you could do it with me. 877 00:57:12,770 --> 00:57:14,447 Alright, I know why you're here. 878 00:57:14,559 --> 00:57:18,211 You're looking for someone with a grudge against George... George. 879 00:57:18,470 --> 00:57:22,905 I made love with him from Saturday afternoon to Friday evening. 880 00:57:23,259 --> 00:57:25,532 In those days he was a good companion. 881 00:57:25,718 --> 00:57:29,091 - You wanted to see me, darling? - Yes, I wanted to see you. 882 00:57:29,464 --> 00:57:32,855 I really wanted you to be here, so I could present to you my ex. 883 00:57:33,358 --> 00:57:35,967 - You're putting on weight. - I heard that. 884 00:57:36,227 --> 00:57:39,320 - Excuse me. - Don't start that again. 885 00:57:39,470 --> 00:57:42,037 Yves, this is George, the Classiest Man in the World. 886 00:57:42,149 --> 00:57:45,690 - George, this is Yves, my ex. - That's him, George? 887 00:57:47,106 --> 00:57:49,342 Well, bravo. 888 00:57:49,603 --> 00:57:52,696 I'd like to ask what you're doing with a guy like that. 889 00:57:54,783 --> 00:57:58,584 I've got some dingle berries which stick to the paper. 890 00:57:58,957 --> 00:58:00,410 My dear Yves, 891 00:58:00,596 --> 00:58:03,540 I'll tell you why I'm with George. I love men who have class. 892 00:58:03,764 --> 00:58:05,255 I want to go to the bog. 893 00:58:05,478 --> 00:58:08,422 Although sometimes appearances can be deceptive. 894 00:58:08,646 --> 00:58:11,702 Poor Christelle, your bloke, I'll smash his head in. 895 00:58:12,349 --> 00:58:14,771 But not just now, not right now. 896 00:58:14,920 --> 00:58:17,753 - When he's not expecting it. - That's not very brave. 897 00:58:17,881 --> 00:58:21,719 I don't give a fuck about bravery. All I know is that he'll pay. 898 00:58:22,204 --> 00:58:25,222 Tomorrow or even in twenty years, he's going to die. 899 00:58:25,409 --> 00:58:27,496 And it won't be a natural death, believe me! 900 00:58:27,608 --> 00:58:29,732 Wouldn't you rather make peace? 901 00:58:29,881 --> 00:58:32,639 - Is that it? Do something. - What d'you want me to do? 902 00:58:32,763 --> 00:58:35,260 I don't know. Beat him up. It's our honour at stake. 903 00:58:35,446 --> 00:58:38,204 If it's our honour, you beat him up. 904 00:58:38,428 --> 00:58:42,117 George finally got tired of me and left with some Canadian. 905 00:58:42,266 --> 00:58:43,831 Right saggy tits, she had. 906 00:58:44,446 --> 00:58:48,117 Talking of saggy tits, just now before recounting your story, 907 00:58:48,340 --> 00:58:51,471 you proposed, how shall I put it... 908 00:58:51,620 --> 00:58:53,446 I'd love to have sex with you. 909 00:58:54,489 --> 00:58:56,688 Well, I don't know. 910 00:58:58,271 --> 00:59:01,402 - Listen... - Go on... - I don't have much time. 911 00:59:01,942 --> 00:59:03,321 Me neither. 912 00:59:03,526 --> 00:59:07,178 Then we must take a decision. I can't decide. Is it yes or is it no? 913 00:59:07,290 --> 00:59:08,147 No! 914 00:59:26,638 --> 00:59:29,955 - Hello, Steven. - Don't move, I'll take the other line. Right! 915 00:59:30,142 --> 00:59:32,191 I'm going to see Yves at his restaurant. 916 00:59:32,359 --> 00:59:34,185 - Things are going badly. - You're not dead. 917 00:59:34,315 --> 00:59:35,750 I've been beaten up. 918 00:59:35,937 --> 00:59:38,433 I was pummelled to a pulp by a guy, a real brute. 919 00:59:38,583 --> 00:59:41,005 He wanted me to talk, but I said nothing. 920 00:59:41,229 --> 00:59:43,949 I said nothing about the case, despite the pain. 921 00:59:44,173 --> 00:59:47,024 I'm happy you said nothing about the case because 922 00:59:47,210 --> 00:59:49,819 we've got nowhere and they'd take us for jerks. 923 00:59:50,042 --> 00:59:52,986 Why did Yves send his thugs after seeming to be innocent. 924 00:59:53,169 --> 00:59:57,231 That's it. It's unthinkable, even after thinking about it. 925 00:59:57,539 --> 01:00:01,936 A guy who allows no suspicion to fall on Joel, George's rival, sends his thugs. 926 01:00:02,234 --> 01:00:04,955 - Why? - Yes, why, why, why? 927 01:00:05,775 --> 01:00:07,564 Hey, kids. Listen. 928 01:00:07,787 --> 01:00:10,918 I think I've got to the bottom if things. Listen well. 929 01:00:11,104 --> 01:00:14,458 George Abitbol was murdered by Yves. 930 01:00:14,799 --> 01:00:18,228 The motive: a woman, Christelle. 931 01:00:18,377 --> 01:00:22,327 Sex plus shagging equals 932 01:00:22,893 --> 01:00:24,185 Murder! 933 01:00:24,421 --> 01:00:26,806 Well done, Peter. We're getting there. We'll be famous! 934 01:00:26,924 --> 01:00:29,309 We'll be fucking like rabbits, like rabbits. 935 01:00:29,458 --> 01:00:30,799 Don't forget the condoms. 936 01:00:33,296 --> 01:00:34,973 Deep Throat... 937 01:00:35,868 --> 01:00:37,284 Deep Throat? 938 01:00:39,893 --> 01:00:42,203 Deep Throat, you wanted to see me? 939 01:00:42,427 --> 01:00:44,253 Any revelations? 940 01:00:44,365 --> 01:00:47,495 Yes, revelations, extremely important. 941 01:00:48,371 --> 01:00:51,539 George Abitbol is not dead. 942 01:00:52,060 --> 01:00:54,520 He's still alive and... 943 01:00:55,452 --> 01:00:57,464 But you're drunk, you're pissed. 944 01:00:57,576 --> 01:00:59,626 You don't know what you're saying. Abitbol is dead. 945 01:01:00,091 --> 01:01:03,035 Not at all. George is alive. 946 01:01:03,222 --> 01:01:05,607 And now he's back in town. 947 01:01:05,998 --> 01:01:08,756 I'm telling you, you little shit. 948 01:01:09,035 --> 01:01:11,793 George is alive and well, shit! 949 01:01:12,278 --> 01:01:14,849 He's come back for revenge. 950 01:01:14,998 --> 01:01:17,980 And the killer of George is Yves. 951 01:01:18,559 --> 01:01:19,826 That we know. 952 01:01:19,938 --> 01:01:23,069 Mister know-it-all, since you're so smart 953 01:01:23,292 --> 01:01:25,864 you can sort it out yourself. 954 01:01:26,013 --> 01:01:27,988 I'm going for a top up. 955 01:01:30,056 --> 01:01:33,108 What's this? Cars in the car park now? 956 01:02:13,483 --> 01:02:15,533 I don't know you. I've nothing against you, 957 01:02:15,831 --> 01:02:17,657 But I've got to smack someone. 958 01:02:17,732 --> 01:02:21,384 Tough luck for you, but I just can't bottle it all up inside. 959 01:02:23,955 --> 01:02:26,974 Don't take this the wrong way, but... 960 01:02:27,328 --> 01:02:30,794 - Hey, what's all this racket? - Can't I have a quiet shit? 961 01:02:36,701 --> 01:02:39,608 Abitbol, the so-called Classiest Man in the World. 962 01:02:39,831 --> 01:02:42,589 - Calm down, guys, calm down. - Mop top! 963 01:02:42,850 --> 01:02:45,384 Yeah, I've a mop! Does my frizzy hair upset you? 964 01:02:45,701 --> 01:02:48,311 Does my long hair flip your bourgeois comfort? 965 01:02:48,460 --> 01:02:50,472 You've bad karma, bro if you don't like my hair. 966 01:02:50,584 --> 01:02:54,068 Sorry Pops, but I'm expressing my follicular freedom. 967 01:02:54,792 --> 01:02:57,028 Does that piss you off, eh, George? 968 01:02:58,744 --> 01:03:00,382 Oh, my goolies! 969 01:03:02,322 --> 01:03:05,080 - Gentlemen, George Abitbol. - George... 970 01:03:06,310 --> 01:03:08,397 But you're alive. 971 01:03:18,154 --> 01:03:21,694 Let's not make a fuss. I'm here, no problem. 972 01:03:21,787 --> 01:03:23,389 It's not true, this business. 973 01:03:23,501 --> 01:03:25,886 Whatever will be will be The future's not ours to see. 974 01:03:26,124 --> 01:03:27,609 I'm here for one reason. 975 01:03:27,907 --> 01:03:30,292 The address of the man who wants to kill me. 976 01:03:30,545 --> 01:03:32,333 - Yves? - Yeah. 977 01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:34,876 OK. I imagine the state you're in. 978 01:03:35,509 --> 01:03:39,385 But behave like a good American. Honour your flag. 979 01:03:39,720 --> 01:03:42,702 You must let justice do its work. 980 01:03:43,545 --> 01:03:47,309 Believe us, we'd like to help you, but we've lost his address. 981 01:03:47,458 --> 01:03:49,471 We'd give it to you, but we can't. 982 01:03:49,843 --> 01:03:51,856 D'you take me for a jerk? 983 01:03:52,004 --> 01:03:55,004 I'm the Classiest Man in the World, bunch of wankers. 984 01:03:55,153 --> 01:03:56,979 Relax, Abitbol. 985 01:03:57,147 --> 01:04:00,687 You're not worth the effort. I'll manage without you. 986 01:04:00,914 --> 01:04:04,567 - Thanks for your help. - He's too big for his boots. 987 01:04:27,540 --> 01:04:29,553 Well George, how can I help? 988 01:04:29,702 --> 01:04:33,623 Find me the address of the guy who wanted to kill me. I'd really like that. 989 01:04:33,884 --> 01:04:36,716 You know, I'm starting to get pissed off. 990 01:04:37,349 --> 01:04:39,325 Yes, pissed off. It's true. 991 01:04:39,567 --> 01:04:43,368 I give everyone a good tip so don't I deserve a little love? 992 01:04:43,552 --> 01:04:45,350 You're right. I love you. 993 01:04:46,459 --> 01:04:48,266 You're unbelievable, and get on my nerves. 994 01:04:48,453 --> 01:04:50,465 Did I give you my number so you could tell me that? 995 01:04:52,664 --> 01:04:55,123 He creases me up, your weirdo. 996 01:04:56,018 --> 01:04:57,248 Thanks for the light, sweetie. 997 01:04:57,397 --> 01:04:59,409 And your tip, you can stick it up your ass. 998 01:04:59,558 --> 01:05:03,349 I really need you, please. 999 01:05:03,602 --> 01:05:05,242 Give me Yves' address. 1000 01:05:05,353 --> 01:05:08,223 But only if you pay me. 1001 01:05:08,386 --> 01:05:10,734 - That'll cost 30 francs. - Yeah. 1002 01:05:10,883 --> 01:05:15,057 Payable in two installments. 15 before and 15 after. 1003 01:05:17,924 --> 01:05:19,862 Let's go! 1004 01:05:27,951 --> 01:05:31,305 Boss, boss! We have to talk to you, quick! 1005 01:05:31,938 --> 01:05:35,572 - George has just left my office? - Fuck that, this is more important. 1006 01:05:35,795 --> 01:05:37,882 Abitbol is alive. Really alive. 1007 01:05:39,820 --> 01:05:41,572 Well done, guys. 1008 01:05:45,415 --> 01:05:47,241 Yves, it's me, George. 1009 01:05:47,353 --> 01:05:48,769 Don't worry, I won't do anything. 1010 01:05:48,918 --> 01:05:51,415 I come to make up, not for vengeance. 1011 01:05:51,900 --> 01:05:54,079 I know it was you tried to kill me. 1012 01:05:54,228 --> 01:05:57,396 I also know that you've never got over Christelle. 1013 01:05:57,582 --> 01:05:59,334 But that's the past. 1014 01:06:00,489 --> 01:06:02,613 We must look towards the future. 1015 01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:05,036 What I'd like is for you to apologize nicely. 1016 01:06:05,923 --> 01:06:08,830 - Yeah, I'm sorry. - Better than that. 1017 01:06:09,053 --> 01:06:11,364 Forgive me, I'm really sorry. 1018 01:06:13,264 --> 01:06:15,612 Excuse me, My Sweet Lord. 1019 01:06:15,990 --> 01:06:17,853 Excuse me, My Sweet Lord? 1020 01:06:30,971 --> 01:06:32,573 Put out your smoke. 1021 01:06:59,251 --> 01:07:00,630 Mister Peter... 1022 01:07:00,816 --> 01:07:04,021 - You've got a message from Dave. - Got a smoke? 1023 01:07:04,618 --> 01:07:07,413 He's looking for George at Yves' hotel. 1024 01:07:12,268 --> 01:07:14,318 - Thanks for the smoke, fat slag. - Good day. 1025 01:07:14,877 --> 01:07:18,920 - Can you tell me the time please? - Yes, one past nine. - That's exact. 1026 01:07:19,107 --> 01:07:21,902 - Want to screw my friend and me? - Yes, why not. 1027 01:07:22,088 --> 01:07:23,877 What was that you said? 1028 01:07:24,007 --> 01:07:27,920 - You said "Yes, why not"? - Exactly. - Follow me. 1029 01:07:28,209 --> 01:07:31,713 - What's your first name? - Sophie, but everyone calls me Sosso. 1030 01:07:31,973 --> 01:07:35,458 - What am I saying? - I want to introduce you to Steven. 1031 01:07:38,756 --> 01:07:41,812 Never mind about that. Victory! Victory! 1032 01:07:42,002 --> 01:07:43,530 Look over here! 1033 01:07:43,753 --> 01:07:46,735 Madame Sosso, Steven. Steven, Madame Sosso. 1034 01:07:46,884 --> 01:07:49,082 - Miss. - Sit down. 1035 01:07:49,902 --> 01:07:53,443 Here, have a chair. Tell him what you just told me. 1036 01:07:54,747 --> 01:07:58,492 - I said that I'd like to screw you. - Hear that? What d'you think? 1037 01:07:59,759 --> 01:08:02,741 What's more, we're not famous. We've yet to publish a single line. 1038 01:08:02,834 --> 01:08:03,505 Why? 1039 01:08:03,691 --> 01:08:07,082 It's all the same, there's no problem. 1040 01:08:07,212 --> 01:08:08,927 It's all happened so suddenly. 1041 01:08:09,244 --> 01:08:11,331 You don't know what it means for us. 1042 01:08:11,473 --> 01:08:12,982 I'm in love! 1043 01:08:13,081 --> 01:08:17,063 Get this, we're engaged on a super hard investigation, but if you'd met us first 1044 01:08:17,249 --> 01:08:20,044 you'd screw us anyway, without us being famous? 1045 01:08:21,108 --> 01:08:24,645 Well, for me, right now, It seems like a lot of fun. 1046 01:08:25,170 --> 01:08:26,959 Come on. 1047 01:08:35,279 --> 01:08:38,671 Boss, boss, we have to talk to you, quick. 1048 01:08:39,062 --> 01:08:41,186 Is it alright if we take the afternoon off? 1049 01:08:41,447 --> 01:08:43,012 We've got a plan. 1050 01:08:43,143 --> 01:08:45,677 We still don't know what he meant by "Shitty World". 1051 01:08:45,826 --> 01:08:48,025 Shitty World. Ah, yes. 1052 01:08:48,174 --> 01:08:50,149 But Dave has left looking for George. 1053 01:08:50,410 --> 01:08:53,689 When they come back, ask George to explain "Shitty World". 1054 01:08:53,894 --> 01:08:55,459 OK, guys. 1055 01:09:01,376 --> 01:09:04,432 OK, Mr. Abitbol, did you have a good night? 1056 01:09:04,619 --> 01:09:08,095 - Without being indiscreet. - Just great. 1057 01:09:09,227 --> 01:09:12,245 You're not indiscreet. I'm an adult, 1058 01:09:12,469 --> 01:09:15,115 and I do what I want with my little body. 1059 01:09:22,456 --> 01:09:24,878 Tell me, whilst you're here... 1060 01:09:25,176 --> 01:09:27,934 What's it mean exactly, "Shitty World"? 1061 01:09:28,130 --> 01:09:29,882 Without being indiscreet. 1062 01:09:30,105 --> 01:09:34,093 You wake up at 35 to ask what it means, "Shitty World"? 1063 01:09:34,279 --> 01:09:38,490 You're not indiscreet. You're just a jerk. 1064 01:09:38,807 --> 01:09:41,304 In saying Shitty World, I'm saying 1065 01:09:41,558 --> 01:09:43,533 that the world's gone to hell. 1066 01:09:43,645 --> 01:09:47,446 It's a cry of revolt I made to my oppressed brothers. 1067 01:09:47,782 --> 01:09:50,950 We've had enough of resignation and indifference. 1068 01:09:51,136 --> 01:09:52,850 Open your eyes! 1069 01:09:53,092 --> 01:09:57,005 Everywhere injustice, nationalism, exclusion. It disgusts me. 1070 01:09:59,987 --> 01:10:04,012 Haven't you heard of the hegemony of capitalism? 1071 01:10:04,198 --> 01:10:06,397 - No. - Not interested in politics? 1072 01:10:06,937 --> 01:10:08,502 You should be. 1073 01:10:09,266 --> 01:10:13,701 We must get to work if we're to defeat fanascism. 1074 01:10:13,964 --> 01:10:17,654 It's my own concept. At the same time it denounces fascists and fanatics. 1075 01:10:17,803 --> 01:10:20,002 Thanks, Mr. Abitbol. 1076 01:10:20,225 --> 01:10:22,946 - You have opened my eyes. - Watch the road. 1077 01:10:37,213 --> 01:10:39,151 Oh, Shitty World! 1078 01:10:39,601 --> 01:10:42,135 Me too, I'd like to say Shitty World. 1079 01:11:48,585 --> 01:11:51,268 Subtitles: Corvusalbus